Sacred Earth Oracle Cards
Wow! What a card to choose by chance as my theme card for 2023. I believe it chose me. I am a coach after all, isn’t listening the cornerstone of the work? What does it really mean to listen to another or to Spirit and finally to hear ourselves?
Listen, author unknown
Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
Let’s face it listening is hard. And to Just listen even harder. It is a choice.
You may have heard someone say, “You might be hearing me, but you are not listening to me.” What is the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is defined as having the capacity to perceive sound while listening is defined as to hear something with thoughtful attention. Listening is an active process, and the role of understanding is with the listener.
Listening is a choice we make in the moment. So much of the time our attention is divided; multitasking and feeling pulled in many different directions, deadlines, commitments, being distracted by the “dings” from our devices, or believing we already know what the person is going to say. If we are brutally honest, we may fear we will not know what to say or how to be with the person’s pain or that it may touch on our own stuff, pain, or wounds when we take the time to truly listen to another.
Love, care, and respect are expressed by a willingness to listen with focused attention.
So how do we go about it?
Make Space, Be Present, Make a Choice to Stop Talking/Doing, Pay Attention, Seek to Understand
BRFWA (pronounced BRIF-WA) is a technique that I learned at Kripalu while attending a program on Leading Transformational Workshops. This can be used in a challenging conversation, when stressed/anxious, when you notice a painful memory is arising in your body, or simply if you want to be more present. BRFWA is an acronym to help you remember what to do in those situations.
Breathe - Notice your breath.
Relax – Soften your muscles.
Feel – Bring awareness to what you are feeling. Where do you notice it in your body?
Watch – Curiously observe your experience without judgment.
Allow – Continue to focus your present moment awareness on your experience without trying to make sense of it or figure it out. Allow presence, compassion, or wisdom to naturally arise.
I urge you to give it a go and experiment with it in 2023.
I am setting about with the intention of being curious and to learn to listen with more presence and openness this year.
I encourage you take the time to reflect on the following questions to help you set your intentions regarding mindfully listening to yourself and others this year.
What is your experience with listening?
What obstacles get in the way?
What wisdom (truth) is yearning to be heard in your life?