Over recent years, I have gradually shifted from making New Year’s resolutions to instead setting intentions. So, what do I mean by intention? It can be defined in many ways, an intention is how you want to be, feel, or show up in the world.  It is in the now, not something to achieve, but an intending for a way of living and is important to tie into one’s values.

What is your intention for 2024?

I noticed last fall after a visit to my ancestral land, my attention being drawn to perspective and ultimately settling in to the possibility of choosing joy.    it's impossible to ignore the collective weight of challenges that the world continues to face. Much suffering through war, economic concerns, racial and gender inequities, and political polarity and divisiveness.  This is in combination with the personal challenges we face each day. Turmoil, adversity, and uncertainty seem to be our constant companions.

Choosing joy goes beyond the fleeting pursuit of happiness; joy is a choice, a deliberate, conscious choice. That choice is available to us each day. Our joy isn't controlled by others or by outward circumstances. Joy comes from a deeper place. It's an attitude, not a transitory emotion. (Journey to the Heart) Choosing joy isn't about denying the existence of difficulties or pretending that life is always smooth sailing but instead making a choice.

What is your experience of choosing joy?

How can we find joy in our lives? Here are some ways:

Caring for others

Spending time in nature

Learning something new

Creating, making art

Activities

Interacting with people

Spiritual connections

Feeling grateful for the little things

What resonates for you?

In this new year, I invite you to join me on this journey of choosing joy. It's not a denial of reality but a conscious decision to choose joy despite the challenges that surround us.

Letting Go

In the middle of a little forest, there lives a little tree who loves his life and the splendid leaves that keep him cool in the heat of long summer days. Life is perfect just the way it is. Autumn arrives, and with the cool winds, that ruffle the little tree’s leaves. One by one the other trees drop their leaves facing the cold of winter head on. But not little tree – he hugs his leaves as tightly as he can.

Little Tree

I recently made a trip back home to my ancestral land in the Midwest. These last months since my mom’s passing, I have been sensing the nudge to return to this physical place of my young childhood. Of course, my logical mind kept pooh-poohing the idea, (“What do you want to waste your time and money doing this for?”, “It is way back in the past and it isn’t important now.”) while my intuition urged me to listen and follow the need for filing the holes of my memory and experience, pieces of unresolved grief, a letting go and forgiveness.

Letting go is the act of releasing attachment or surrendering control over something that is no longer serving us. It may be a relationship, beliefs, emotions, or past experiences that are causing us pain or holding us back.

What may you be “holding onto”?

Why is letting go so hard to do? Fear most likely, the uncertainty, the not knowing can be so anxiety-provoking to let go of resistance. We are familiar, comfortable with our current circumstances, albeit they may not be healthy, but we know the terrain.

Year after year little tree remains unchanged. His leaves, having long since turned brown and withered. What would he be without them?

When you let go, space is created for something new to happen. 

Letting go is something that I have struggled with through the years. And I have had to learn how to do it.  Here are some ideas that can help with letting go:

1.     Recognize you are holding onto to something that is no longer serving you.

2.     Process your emotions - allow yourself to feel and express any emotions that are coming up. This may involve talking to a friend, therapist, trying a creative expression practice, or journaling your experience.

3.     Practice Self-compassion – Letting go is a process and may take time, be kind to yourself.  

4.     Release the attachment - This may involve prayer, meditation, forgiveness, acceptance, or simply acknowledging it’s time to move on.  

5.     Present moment awareness – allow yourself to experience the lightness and freedom that comes with letting go.

A friend and Reiki practitioner shared a meditation with me for the visit to my ancestral land; Ho'oponopono Meditation.  It is an ancient Hawaiian healing technique that focusses the energies of forgiveness, love and gratitude into those areas where we are holding on to memories that are no longer serving us.

Be patient with yourself and trust that you have the courage to let go. And grow.

Following the Divine Breadcrumbs

I notice I use this phrase a lot. It is an important one for me, one I have used for many years. It seems to describe purpose or simply the guiding light at decision points on the path to next steps leading to a goal.

It can be challenging “to listen” in the midst of all the noise and distractions in our lives today. So much competing for our attention -- technology, the media, important others’ needs, our internal fear, grief, and pain -- to hear that “still, quiet voice”.

Following the divine breadcrumbs can also be what people call, “God moments”. These moments can be defined as a personal encounter where you may experience God's purpose, presence, and love. “God moments” are sensed in a conversation with a friend, through listening to music, in prayer, during meditation, or as simple as an email, text, or an animal in nature.

Others may describe divine breadcrumbs as synchronicity. Defined by Carl Jung (a pioneer of modern depth psychology and psychoanalysis) as a meaningful coincidence or set of coincidences that can provide us with insight into our lives and our essential purpose.

How do I describe these experiences? 

Sometimes it’s hard for me to find words to describe my personal experience with divine breadcrumbs. From my encounters, it can be like an intuitive hit. At times, a word or phrase can spark a divine breadcrumb, bringing goose bumps (a friend described it as truth bumps) or a “knowing” in the gut. I’ve experienced these moments and feelings related to both my own path or for others.

How do you access that “still, quiet voice”?

We each tap into this awareness in different ways depending on our personality and style. A colleague and friend, Jill Smith, Enneagram and Contemplative Prayer teacher, uses a short 7-minute meditation to deepen awareness with the 3 intelligence centers: the heart, the head, and the body. This is a meditative, reflective practice from the Enneagram to get in touch with all three centers. Everyone has all three centers of intelligence, but everyone has a different relationship with each of them. This calm, thoughtful meditation practice allows us to ‘be’ present with each part of ourselves in a conscious, non-judgmental space. You can find this practice outlined below.

7-Minute Meditation Practice

Spend 2 minutes getting in touch with yourself, to be present to yourself. Always start with feeling the sensations of your body. The physicality of it.

After 2 minutes do the same but drawing attention to your heart. Breathe in and out through your heart space, knowing this is the intelligence of your emotions and connection to the world and your own heart.

The next 2 minutes move your focus to your head space, your mental intelligence. It may feel calm, open, and spacious. This is the space you want to make decisions from, clear, calm, and in touch with the heart and the body.

The final 1 minute, draw attention to all 3 centers together, giving thanks, feeling grateful, and loving what you bring to the world, your full authentic Self.

In Summary

Be mindful and on the lookout for the divine breadcrumbs, allowing them to emerge organically.  Once you have some “rear view” mirror perspective of what you have just experienced or walked through, you will begin to see pattern and purpose.

Personal Power and Consciously Creating Your Next Chapter

“We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." 

--C. G. Jung

 Personal power (or “personal authority” as I hear it so often referred) is a topic that holds significance for me as I navigate my current age and stage of life, and also work with clients during these transitions. As I move into my “last third”, what I affectionately call this stage of life, and attempt to “consciously create the next chapter”, I am noticing the ingredients of personal power are so important. The main points that have really spoken to me lately are to confidently and creatively discern vision and step out in courage to take action. I have found so many of the key ingredients of personal power, such as identifying values, needs, gifts; doing our healing work; becoming familiar with limiting beliefs that can keep us stuck and spinning; and befriending our emotions, are critical to inform mindful choices and titrate the anxiety of change and transition.

 So what is Personal Power?

Simply, personal power comes from within, an intention towards self-awareness and consciously creating our life in alignment with one’s values, needs, and gifts.  Authenticity is a key ingredient and allows for greater confidence, healthier relationships, and greater purpose. 

 What is important for you about this topic?

 What Gets in the Way?

·       Childhood experiences with important others around unhealthy power, authority, autonomy, and resulting beliefs.

·       FEAR of being judged, making a mistake, being embarrassed, not meeting up to others’ expectations. Confusion about which direction to go.

·       Doubt in our ability to be successful or if believe we are worthy.  

·       Reflecting on authenticity - Misalignment of how we are living; value/needs conflict with our choice of job, work environment, important relationships, where we live, how we worship/spirituality. 

 What Gets in the Way for you?

 Start Close in by David Whyte

He says:

Start right now,

take a small step you can call your own,

don't follow someone else's heroics,

be humble and focused,

start close in,

don't mistake that other for your own.

 What is an action you will take in your life to ignite your personal power?

 Harness your Personal Power

As you tap into your personal power, you’ll discover extraordinary capabilities within that can fuel vision, confidence, and crafting a life of purpose, fulfillment and success. It’s yours for the (re)awakening!

 Please join me at the Wild Goose Festival at Hot Springs Campground on July 14th for a tabletop conversation about personal power, what it is, why important and elements to ignite. I look forward to seeing you!

What’s Important to You; Discovering Your Personal Values

We all have values that guide our lives and shape the decisions we make. Whether we are aware of them or not, our values are an intrinsic part of who we are, what we believe, and how we align our actions. Personal values are often deeply rooted and are shaped by our experiences, culture, family, and upbringing. They are the pillars and guideposts that help steer the way you live and work.

At a transitional period in my life, I chose to work with a coach to support me in rediscovering both my values and needs. At that point, I was journeying through some significant changes; marriage separation, empty nest, moving; and found that clarifying what’s important to me was incredibly beneficial in my decision making for my next steps.

I think of it like this, being in alignment or a state of congruence means aligning behavior and choices with our values and needs in mind - the inside matches the outside. Just like a puzzle piece all coming together to make the larger picture clearer.  It can bring a great amount of purpose, satisfaction, and contentment.

Values may include focus on health, spirituality, connection, meaningful work, community service, integrity, creativity, authenticity, financial stability, gratitude, independence, etc.

To define or rediscover your personal values, you can start by reflecting on your beliefs, attitudes, and priorities. Ask yourself:

1.     What are the things that matter most to me in life?

2.     What are my top priorities in life?

3.     What are the principles I believe in?

4.     What makes me fulfilled and satisfied?

5.     What are the qualities I want to cultivate in myself?

Below are some possible resources to begin reflecting on and discovering your Values;

Values Sort Activity

Personal Values Card Sort

Life Values Inventory

Discovering your personal values is a crucial step towards living an authentic and fulfilling life.  I encourage you to take some time to explore your personal values.  Contact me with questions or stories of your experience as you give discovering your values a try.

Spring is Here!

Trees and shrubs are budding, the perennials in the front garden are beginning to reemerge. In the Christian calendar, it is the season of Lent and Easter, a time of resurrection and new life. Spring time is a time for renewal and growth. All that has been lying dormant below the surface during winter is ready to emerge with the promise of wonder and possibility.  

I am in a book group and we are reading John Donohue’s Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom. Celtic Spirituality is very much grounded in nature and Donohue’s words resonate as he describes the springtime of our souls; “At the heart of Spring is a great inner longing.  It is a time when desire and memory stir toward each other. Consequently, springtime in your soul is a wonderful time to undertake some new adventure, some new project, or to make some important changes in your life. You can make difficult transitions very naturally in an unforced and spontaneous way.”

What is stirring in your soul and longing to emerge?

I’ve prepared a guided imagery video to help lead you towards envisioning your future self. As you follow my direction throughout the video, this is your chance to find and focus in on goals or changes you’d like to tackle. Maybe it’s something small like a new hobby or maybe it’s a big life change that you haven’t let yourself truly think about until now. It can be a powerful tool to contemplate your personal vision and to begin to align decision-making and goal setting with your desires and purpose.

Imagine the Possibilities

A grief counselor shared the word “Wonderlust” with me last winter. This word meaning a desire for wonder, awe, discover the new and unknown. It surprised me and it did not immediately resonate as I was in the midst of grieving the loss of my Mom, working hand-in-hand with my sister to honor Mom’s wishes, traveling back and forth to the place I was raised, and walking through all that goes along with this deeply painful journey. 

So how does this story of loss relate to Wonderlust and possibilities? 

Through processing this most painful loss, it opened up space to remember, to heal, and to wonder.  To be curious of what could be.  I loved the word “Wonderlust” as it gave me permission to dream and explore of what I knew to be an imperfect, circuitous path. 

Pain pushes, until the vision pulls

Dr. Michael Beckwith, thought leader, believes pain, while difficult to endure, serves a purpose, pushing us to move forward or to take a step back, ultimately opening to more spaciousness and possibility in our lives.

Nobody can give you a vision of what path you’ll choose or end up traveling, but here are some ideas to begin imagining:

Look within you.  What do you feel passionate about? What is your soul calling to you?

Look behind you. What have you learned?

Look around you. Who belongs in your vision?

Look ahead of you. What circumstances, meetings, concerns lay ahead that could be opportunities? What synchronicities are you noticing?

Look beside you. What resources are available to you?

Listening

Sacred Earth Oracle Cards

Wow!  What a card to choose by chance as my theme card for 2023. I believe it chose me. I am a coach after all, isn’t listening the cornerstone of the work? What does it really mean to listen to another or to Spirit and finally to hear ourselves?

Listen, author unknown

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.

Don’t talk or do – just hear me.

Let’s face it listening is hard. And to Just listen even harder. It is a choice.

You may have heard someone say, “You might be hearing me, but you are not listening to me.”   What is the difference between hearing and listening?   Hearing is defined as having the capacity to perceive sound while listening is defined as to hear something with thoughtful attention.  Listening is an active process, and the role of understanding is with the listener.

Listening is a choice we make in the moment.  So much of the time our attention is divided; multitasking and feeling pulled in many different directions, deadlines, commitments, being distracted by the “dings” from our devices, or believing we already know what the person is going to say. If we are brutally honest, we may fear we will not know what to say or how to be with the person’s pain or that it may touch on our own stuff, pain, or wounds when we take the time to truly listen to another.

Love, care, and respect are expressed by a willingness to listen with focused attention.

So how do we go about it?

Make Space, Be Present, Make a Choice to Stop Talking/Doing, Pay Attention, Seek to Understand

BRFWA (pronounced BRIF-WA) is a technique that I learned at Kripalu while attending a program on Leading Transformational Workshops. This can be used in a challenging conversation, when stressed/anxious, when you notice a painful memory is arising in your body, or simply if you want to be more present. BRFWA is an acronym to help you remember what to do in those situations.

Breathe  - Notice your breath.

Relax – Soften your muscles.

Feel – Bring awareness to what you are feeling.  Where do you notice it in your body?

Watch – Curiously observe your experience without judgment.

Allow – Continue to focus your present moment awareness on your experience without trying to make sense of it or figure it out.  Allow presence, compassion, or wisdom to naturally arise.

I urge you to give it a go and experiment with it in 2023.

I am setting about with the intention of being curious and to learn to listen with more presence and openness this year.

I encourage you take the time to reflect on the following questions to help you set your intentions regarding mindfully listening to yourself and others this year.

What is your experience with listening?

What obstacles get in the way?

What wisdom (truth) is yearning to be heard in your life?

New Beginnings

In so many cases in past years as I put away the holiday decorations, I felt a sense of sadness.  The celebration, twinkling lights, sense of mystery and magic, and spending time with friends and family is over and long, cold, winter days and nights are ahead.

This year feels different, I have a sense of excitement for what’s ahead.  As I am approaching age 60, I have been considering what I am calling “my last third.”  Consciously reviewing where and how am I called to spend my time, energy, and gifts. Last Fall, I made adjustments in my work life approach and created space for facilitating retreats, starting dream school, and more travel and adventure. What is your Soul calling to you?

I attended church service on Jan 1st and the priest referenced the Hero’s Journey archetype.   Described best by Joseph Campbell, the archetype is used in literature and movies quite frequently and follows the arch of the call to adventure, resistance to call, the unknown or abyss, fertile void (new awareness or Ah-ha’s), integration and return. It absolutely caught my attention as much of my life and work has been focused on “death and rebirth”, transitions, and struggling well. I have integrated the Hero’s Journey lens, personally and in my workshop and coaching partnering with those in transitions. What struck me most though is he started with New Beginnings.  I generally focus on the uninvited change, or the endings. The service was truly powerful for me that day as particularly validating of my recent inner experience.  What is your experience as you start your journey through 2023?

Although it is already February, new beginnings don’t need to be anchored to the first of the year. Give yourself grace and start now.

During a recent group mediation, the leader shared a New Year’s card she received from a friend this year.  She read each word silently to the group before we began. At first I noticed a resistance to re..I just want to finally go forward! And as I opened and let each word sink in, many began to resonate as I pondered the possibilities of this New Year…Restart, Reimagine, Recreate…

What words resonate for you?

I look forward to all this year holds in store for each of us and what is possible.